Inner turmoil sure takes a lot out of a gal. I've felt really wiped out today, yet peaceful with the semblance of resolution with Mtn (my nick for my guy.) I've been focusing more on parenting- making these connection opportunities with my kid count, and caught up on rest today. I'm not feeling fantastic tonight so may be fighting a virus, which always feels like fatigue for me.
The thing is - nothing has really changed except that I showed the guy I think I love some vulnerability. He's working and doing extra shizzle this week for work, I'm momming- so all of my peace rests on hope, or at the very least- satisfaction- not for what the future may bring, but for allowing myself to communicate my openness to it, and my desire for it.
I 'spose that's all I can do. I like it- focusing on what I can do and effect rather than clinging to notions of desired outcomes. The former feels way healthier. And that's all I got Nov 5.