Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Sans Oomph

Inner turmoil sure takes a lot out of a gal.  I've felt really wiped out today, yet peaceful with the semblance of resolution with Mtn (my nick for my guy.)  I've been focusing more on parenting- making these connection opportunities with my kid count, and caught up on rest today.  I'm not feeling fantastic tonight so may be fighting a virus, which always feels like fatigue for me.

The thing is - nothing has really changed except that I showed the guy I think I love some vulnerability.  He's working and doing extra shizzle this week for work,  I'm momming-  so all of my peace rests on hope, or at the very least- satisfaction- not for what the future may bring, but for allowing myself to communicate my openness to it, and my desire for it.

I 'spose that's all I can do.  I like it- focusing on what I can do and effect rather than clinging to notions of desired outcomes.  The former feels way healthier.  And that's all I got Nov 5. 

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